


Familiar Faces

by maeone



Category: Supernatural
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-27
Updated: 2014-08-27
Packaged: 2018-02-14 23:56:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2207832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maeone/pseuds/maeone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Claire runs into a familiar face at a Gas-N-Sip.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Familiar Faces

**Author's Note:**

> For the purposes of this fic, Jimmy died when Castiel was killed by the archangel protecting Chuck.

Claire had always imagined what she would say if she ever ran into Castiel again. In her mind, the conversation had always gone something like this:

“Castiel.”

“Hello, Claire.”

“I don’t suppose you can give me my dad back?”

“I am sorry.”

“Is he still in there?”

“Yes.”

“Can I…talk to him? Just for a minute?”

“Just for a minute. Then I must leave.”

“Hey, Dad.”

“Claire. I didn’t think…I never thought I would see you again.”

“Me neither.”

“How are you? How’s Amelia?”

“Mom is…she hasn’t been the same, not since you…left.”

“What’s she like?”

“Paranoid. She’s scared demons are going to come after us. We’re always moving around. There’s always salt lining the windowsills and doorways. And she has nightmares. She won’t tell me about them, but I hear her screaming, sometimes.”

“Do you? Have nightmares?”

“Not nightmares. I dream, though. About when Castiel was…I remember it. I dream about how it felt.”

“Those aren’t nightmares? Being possessed by an angel is terrible.”

“I know, and it is. Was. But they’re not nightmares. It’s terrible, yes, but it’s also, I don’t know, there’s just something so…angelic about it, I guess, for lack of a better word.”

“I suppose there is. Claire – Castiel needs to leave. You tell Mom I love her, okay? I still love her. And you. I’ve never stopped loving either of you.”

“I love you too, Dad. So does she. She hasn’t seen anyone else, all this time, because she still thinks that one day, you’ll come back again.”

“I will. One day, I will. Castiel won’t stay forever. I promise.”

“I need to go now.”

“Is it true, Castiel? That you won’t stay forever?”

“I…cannot say. I am sorry.”

And then the conversation would end, and Castiel would disappear.

Claire had tried to make her daydreams end happier, but she had always known those weren’t realistic. In her best fantasies, Castiel would leave the moment she said hello, and she could go home with her dad, and live a normal life.

But they were just that – fantasies. Even if Castiel did leave the moment she said hello, and she did go home with her dad, there would always be demons after them, they would still move more times in one year than most people do in one lifetime, and her mom would still be paranoid.

It was better if her daydreams ended with the possibility of happiness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No amount of daydreams, no amount of wishing to meet Castiel, could prepare her for the shock she felt walking into the Gas-N-Sip and seeing the body of her father working behind the counter.

Claire took a few deep breaths to calm her racing heart. She had never really believed that she would ever run into Castiel.

Chips. Get the chips. Her mom had sent her in here to buy a bag of chips to snack on while they were driving.

Mom. Her mom could not be allowed to see Castiel. Claire had no idea how she would react, but she was fairly certain it wouldn’t be good. 

Rushing into the chip aisle – the sooner she got out of here, the better – Claire glanced over her shoulder out the window, to where her mom was still filling the gas tank. Good. As long as she was preoccupied, she would most definitely not come inside. Once she was finished, she would probably come in to use the restroom, but not if Claire was already done buying the chips. Then they could continue driving for hours, to another new house, to another new school, and Claire could forget this had ever happened.

If only the line to pay wasn’t moving agonizingly slowly. This didn’t really surprise Claire. No angel would ever be good at working a cash register. 

A quick glance told Claire that her mom was still pumping gas. She would be almost done by now. 

Claire did her best to look away from Castiel as she approached the front of the line, but she couldn’t help looking up as she reached the counter. 

Castiel recognized her as soon as their eyes met. She had been hoping, foolishly, that he wouldn’t. It would be much harder to leave quickly now.

“Claire – what are you doing –”

“Buying some chips,” Claire replied tightly. Better to keep this conversation as short and succinct as possible.

“Claire – ” Castiel was in shock, she could tell. 

“Just hurry it up, okay? I don’t want Mom to come in here.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, glancing at her face as he rang up the chips. “About what I did to your family.”

“Good to know,” Claire replied, handing over two dollars. Their eyes met, and Claire looked at him. Studied him, more like. She couldn’t help it. When the angel possessing your father is the cashier ringing up your chips, you stare at him. “There’s something…different about you. I’m not sure what.”

“I’m no longer am angel. I’m human now, just like you.”

Noticing his nametag for the first time, Claire answered, “Is that why you’re working at a Gas-N-Sip as a man named Steve?”

“I believe your mother is done pumping gas. If you don’t wish for her to see me, I suggest you leave.”

Screw that, Claire thought. So what if her mother came in here? This was Claire’s one chance to talk to Castiel, and she wasn’t going to miss it because her mom needed to pee. 

“You’re never going to give me my dad back, are you?”

“I can’t. I’m sorry.”

“Can I talk to him? For a minute?”

“Jimmy…is gone. He’s dead. He’s been dead for a while now.”

That information took Claire a moment to process. She had never thought that she would truly see her dad again. If she were lucky, maybe she would get to chat with him for a minute. Claire had always believed he was alive, though. Sure, maybe he was possessed and his body wasn’t his own, but he was alive.

“How?” Claire’s voice came out thick from trying not to cry. She had mourned when her father had left as if he had died and had believed she was over the grief. Clearly, that wasn’t the case.

“I was destroyed by an archangel, several years ago. Jimmy moved on, but someone brought me back.”

“Is he in heaven?” Claire asked, almost scared to hear the answer. She didn’t think she would be able to bear it if Castiel said “no.”

“He should be. Except for a few rare cases, vessels automatically go to heaven.” Castiel looked down when he said this, as if he was hiding something.

Suspiciously, Claire asked, “What sort of rare cases?”

He sighed. “Claire, don’t worry about it. I’m sure he’s happy. It is extremely rare that a vessel doesn’t go to heaven. Lucifer’s vessel, Nick, will likely not go to heaven. If you house the devil, your soul is earmarked for hell. There is only one exception to that rule. Other vessels who don’t go to heaven are vessels of angels who excessively and repeatedly disobeyed orders and rebelled. I believe those vessels would go to purgatory.”

“What does that have to do with my father?” Claire demanded.

“I rebelled and disobeyed orders. Excessively and repeatedly. More than almost any angel has, ever. That was mostly after Jimmy died, though.”

“So you’re saying he might not be in heaven.”

“Yes, Claire, I am saying that. However, I do think that he is.”

Claire looked at her bag of chips, then back at Castiel. Uncertainty danced in her eyes before she spoke hesitantly. “I remember it. You. When I was your vessel. I remember it.”

Castiel appeared apologetic. “I would be surprised if you didn’t. Something like that – it would be strange if it were forgotten. The same goes for demonic possession. Your mother has nightmares, doesn’t she? Those are her memories of possession. As bad as it is to be vessel to an angel, it is a thousand times worse to be possessed by a demon.” He paused for a second. “I am sorry that you were forced to be my vessel, for however short a time. I know it must have been…unpleasant for you.”

It took a moment for Claire to recover from her shock. “How do you know my mother has nightmares? She hasn’t told anyone about them, not even me. I only know because I hear her screaming.”

“Most do, after being possessed by a demon. If I was still an angel, I could block those memories and stop the nightmares, but I’m not.”

Claire spoke quietly, as if scared to say what she was about to. “I have dreams, too. Of you. They’re good dreams. It wasn’t fun, being your vessel. There was bright light, so bright that I would be blinded if I saw it now. It seemed as if I was burning up from the inside out. And it hurt, more than just the burning. There was a lot of pressure, like you were too big, too powerful, for me. It felt like I would explode. But the dreams are good. I can’t think of a good word to describe them besides ‘angelic’.”

The ex-angel interrupted. “I believe Jimmy compared housing an angel to being chained to a comet.”

“Yes, that’s exactly what it felt like. But…once you left, it felt like some part of me was missing. Like you had ripped it out and the only way to feel whole again was for me to be your vessel so you could put it back and keep it there. It hurt. Not as bad as actually being your vessel, but it hurt. And when you deal with that, for days and weeks and years, you would give anything to feel whole again. And that’s why the dreams are nice. In the dreams, it feels like you’re possessing me, and I feel whole again.”

Castiel smiled sadly. “I am sorry to cause you so much pain. There’s nothing I can do to ease it. The feeling of not being whole should fade over time. Many vessels feel it, after the angels have gone back home. Once one has hosted such a powerful celestial being, it is hard to feel complete without that much power. Some vessels try. They invite other angels in, or try to get possessed by demons. Demons do fill the void, but in most cases, cause more harm than good. It works with other angels, though it’s not perfect. If it’s not the same angel, the vessel won’t feel complete, just more complete than he or she was before. Until the angel leaves, and then they are in the same situation as before, only worse. That is, of course, if they survive. All angels have one vessel that is a perfect fit for them on Earth at all times that will survive being possessed by an angel. Other humans will suffice, if necessary, but unless they are directly related, there is no guarantee that they will survive.”

Claire stared. “So…that feeling, like I was about to explode…my dad was your vessel, and the only reason I survived is because I’m his daughter. Otherwise I would have exploded.”

“Not exploded, really, but your body would not have survived the encounter,” Castiel clarified. “Had your father died, you would have become my true vessel. That feeling would have only been slightly lessened.”

Claire stole a fleeting look outside, where her mother was sitting on the hood of the car, waiting. Miracle of miracles, she hadn’t come inside to see what was taking her daughter so long to buy one bag of chips. 

“I have to go,” Claire stated. “If I stay much longer, my mom will come in.” 

“Take this.” Castiel handed her a small slip of paper with three phone numbers written on it. The top and middle ones had “Sam” and “Dean” written by them, respectively. “If you ever run into serious demonic trouble, call one of these numbers. Tell Sam and Dean who you are. They’ll help.”

“Thanks. I don’t plan on ever needing help from you or any of your friends, but thanks anyway.” Half-jogging, Claire started towards the door.

“Claire!” Castiel called after her. She stopped moving and spun around to stare at him. “I do apologize for what I did to your family.”

Her icy glare met his remorseful stare as she stalked toward him. “You know that I can’t forgive you, right? You understand that no matter how many times you apologize, I can’t say ‘apology accepted?' You got my father killed, destroyed my family and my life, and left me feeling like I would always be incomplete. Like I could never be whole. Nothing can change that. It doesn’t matter how many times you say ‘I’m sorry.’ I will never forgive you, Castiel. I despise you. I always will.” She whipped around and stormed outside.

A cool breeze moved her light brown hair across her face, but moving it away was only part of the reason she wiped her hand across her eyes. Angry tears had formed as she had screamed at Castiel, mixed with tears of grief from the knowledge that her father was dead.

“Finally!” her mother exclaimed, pushing off from the hood and opening the car door as Claire approached. “How long does it take to buy a bag of chips?”

“Sorry. I had to go to the bathroom.” A resolve had already formed in Claire that she would never tell her mom about her meeting with Castiel.

“Took you long enough. Come on, we’ve gotta get moving.”

Claire pulled into the car and stole one last glance through the window. Castiel was nowhere to be seen. An old black car pulled in behind the Novaks as they drove off, already munching on chips. Claire didn’t look back.


End file.
